Eh-hum # 37

Brace yourselves...

Two (relatively used) high-lighters and one stenographers later, I was able to finish one of my assignments for my Jap. History class. We will have an essay exam this weekend and boy, I am nervous as hell. I don't want to screw up the first test of my MA endeavor.

For one thing, I was a little shaken that my time management skills are tested and I have to revive my supposedly effective study habits (I have been out of school for two years). However, since I promised myself that I will pursue my MA after two years of my graduation, I shouldn't really by complaining. I honestly believe that this will help me to boost my confidence and open up more opportunities for me professionally. Besides, I paid the tuition myself, so I better work it out.

Eh-hum # 36

Now, this is wierd....But hey, who cares? It's Johnny Depp!!!

Eh-hum # 35

Dilbert and Terror

I am a member of Dogbert’s New Ruling Class (DNRC), which means that 1) I am an intelligent and witty person (with lots of potential to be a world leader) and 2) I subscribe to Scott Adam’s Dilbert Comics. Aside from the daily comics, I have two of his books, and so far, I find them enlightening and downright funny and/or wickedly amusing. Furthermore, based on his works, Mr. Adams is on a mission to empower the (unappreciated yet brilliant) working class and purge the Induhviduals of the world, which usually includes the oblivious PHB (pointy-haired boss).

Since the fight against terror is main concern of most countries (and said to be the primary reason for George “Dubya” Bush’s re-election), Mr. Adams has an interesting line of reasoning on just how to end this world menace (DNRC Newsletter # 58.0). You may think it’s quite bizarre, but I think the first line means a lot. While you’re reading this, the US coalition forces, after their "operations" in Fallujah, are now in Mosul facing more Iraqi insurgents.

DNRC STOPS GLOBAL TERRORISM!

As you know, the best way to solve a problem is to identify the core belief that causes the problem; then mock that belief until the people who hold it insist that you heard them wrong.

The core belief that drives terrorism is the notion of a "holy place," along with the idea that some people belong there and other people don’t. That’s why the only solution to terrorism is for religious scholars to hold a global summit to agree on the definition of "holy place." Once they agree on a definition, it will be easier to mock it into submission.

At some point during the summit, probably after a week or so, the scholars would tire of saying to each other, "Nice hat" and asking, "What setting do you use to trim your ratty beard?" Then they’d get down to the business of defining what makes a place holy. Someone would suggest that the key things are the location and the fact that something holy happened there. Eventually, someone with a second-grade understanding of space, possibly the busboy, would point out that everything in the universe has moved a gazillion miles since the holy event, and the concept of location is meaningless unless all the reference points stay put. The best-case scenario is that the "holy place" is now a billion miles away, floating in empty space.

After some embarrassed mumbling, the scholars would insist that they knew all along that location wasn’t important. One of them would break the awkwardness by suggesting that a holy place must be defined by the "stuff" that comprises it. That’s good news, because the Middle East is made entirely of dirt. The wise King Solomon probably would have advised people to help themselves to as much holy dirt as they wanted. He might have gone so far as to suggest that people put holy dirt in their socks so they can enjoy walking on it wherever they go. But first he would have invented socks and patented the idea, because in addition to being wise, he had a good head for business.

Religious scholars should also help the rest of us understand the question of holy depth. Is it just the top layer of soil that’s holy, or does the holiness continue lower into the ground? It’s important because if there’s no bottom limit, then whatever is on the exact opposite side of the earth is also holy, only upside down. The residents would have to stand on their heads to get the full benefit of the holy rays, but it would be worth it.

Feel free to forward this Holy Place argument to any Induhviduals who need the enlightenment that comes from having their core beliefs mocked. I can’t guarantee that this will stop terrorism, but whatever you’re doing now isn’t working. If you want more thought-provoking ideas in the same realm, check out my new book, The Religion War. It’s a sequel to my non-Dilbert book, God’s Debris. It’s guaranteed to become a collector’s item after al-Qaeda gets me. And it’s ideal for book clubs and people who like to have their preconceived notions tweaked.

Eh-hum # 34

Drink Moderately….(OVER)Hearing a certain story at the office prompted me to post this simple reminder/article. I got this from the Reader’s Digest February 2004 issue and its about the hazards of drinking too much (aside from drunk driving, of course). TAKE NOTE of this cause when under the influence, anything (stupid) is possible.

“YOU CAN’T BE TOO CAREFUL”

Due to increasing product liability litigation, it has been suggested that American liquor manufacturers place these warning labels immediately on all varieties of alcohol:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think that you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing with you.

Eh-hum # 33

The (so-called) Most Powerful Man (or Person) in the WORLD

It was obviously a grueling campaign period for both incumbent President George W. Bush and Senator John F. Kerry and the highlight, apart from the 3 presidential debates, was their respective anti-films and political ads, which, I guess, was all the rage during that particular time. The both were critical, to the point of being personal and some that circulated online, were inappropriate and pretty dumb (yeah, that piece about Kerry and Edward’s “relationship”). Perhaps, the most famous of all, and grossed millions of dollars worldwide, was Michael Moore’s Fahrenheit 9/11. Controversial as it is, the film is about the Bush administration's actions in the wake of the tragic events of September 11, 2001. Like the presidential debates, it also speaks of the much discussed Iraq War and the US’ crusade against terrorism. Regardless of the stormy weather, the two presidential candidates continued to tour the country and convince these people why the ballot should say Bush or Kerry. They say it’s a tight race and I couldn’t agree more. However, there can only be one winner.

In fairness to Kerry, he took the decision with dignity and sincerely expressed his aspiration for a unified America (so unlike the politicians here, maybe we should seriously consider computerizing our election system). As PGMA congratulated “Dubya”, we wonder what’s the implication of the Republican’s victory to his country, to the World, and more importantly, to Iraq and the war on terror (maybe, I should read on this more or wait to hear some valuable insights from political analysts. ABANGAN!). Let me just share one effect was the increase in oil prices (gggrreeeaaaaatttt, just what we need: another oil price hike) due to the uncertainty in the Middle East. Furthermore, him winning was a relief to UK Prime Minister Tony Blair and fellow re-electionist, Australian Prime Minister John Howard (hmmmm, I bet Blair would be praying that Lady Luck would also smile on him in UK elections), both being staunch supporters of the Iraq war and all. Like Blair and Howard, other world leaders expressed their congratulations.

Eh-hum # 32

Thanks to jac for this survey.

[Shampoo and Conditioner]: At present, I am using Head and Shoulders. I rarely use a conditioner, but if I do, it’s Cream Silk.
[Bags]: I prefer big bags. I am using my ESPRIT bag for work. I am saving up for a nice UCB backpack or a shoulder bag. Also, I have 2 big Old Navy bags.

[T-shirts]: Giordano ever. I buy my blouses at SM Dept. Store.

[Pants]: Slacks for the office at SM Dept. Store, khakis or denims either Hang Ten or Giordano. Being “well-rounded”, I might try Tubby.
[Lotion]: Jergens lotion.

[Shoes]: Ohrelle or Cardams. I am still using my 2-year-old Addidas rubber shoes and my since-high-school Skechers. I have these nice black KEDS that I use for work.

[Facial cleanser]: Pond’s facial wash.

[Make-up]: No make-up, just Chapstick.

[Wallet]: I’m using my Hang Ten wallet (a gift from a lovely friend). However, I am thinking of buying a new one, perhaps Girbaud?

[Pens]: PILOT!!

[Cell phone]: Am using a cute Nokia 5210.

[Underwear]: Triumph and SO-EN.

[Watch]: I have two Swatch watches and my mom’s Gucci that needs new batteries.

[Pillow Case/Bed sheet]: My mom’s hand me downs (but are in good condition).

[Furniture]: No idea, but our house if filled with NARRA-made furniture.

[Caps]: Rarely wear a cap or hat. If I do, I borrow from my brother.

[Magazines]: Time Magazine. We also have a collection of National Geographic Magazines.[Books]: Nothing specific. But I am trying to collect all of JRR Tolkien’s works. I really need to visit Power Books soon.

[Chocolate]: KITKAT!!!

[Candy]: I am more of a gum person: Juicy Fruit, Orbit, etc.

[Medicine]: I try to take Vitamin E everyday.

[Popcorn]: Not really a fan of popcorn. Prefer Junk food.

[Cologne/Perfume]: Victoria’s Secret Garden (Love Spell) among other scents.

[Swimwear]: I CAN’T SWIM!!!

[Jewelry]: Earrings and necklace only. I wear bracelets on special occasions.

[Sunglasses]: I have these Penshoppe sunglasses.

[Computer]: Clone desktop PC that has a COMPAQ keyboard and LG monitor.

[Drink (Alcoholic)]: Mule and Bailey’s.

[Drink (Non-alcoholic)]: Water and iced tea.

[Soap]: Dove soap.

[Automobile]: God-willing, I’d like a SUV Jeep or Volkswagen.

[Fuel/Gasoline]: I prefer diesel.

[Restaurant]: Nothing in particular, as long as it’s clean and the food’s great.

[Dessert]: Belgian Waffle or simple sorbetero ice cream.

[Coffee]: Starbucks (Café Mocha with double shots of Espresso).

[Printer]: Canon bubble jet.

Eh-hum # 31

GAMBATTE KUDASAI!!!

Its November ladies and gentleman! Notice how 6:00 am still looks like 5:00 am, or the nights started to get a little more breezy? Of course, don’t forget the department store sales (Finally, I was able to buy a nice pair of Giordano khaki pants for half the price). Christmas is definitely in the air. I just hope our pockets can take the pressures of the coming holiday season.

For interested parties, its official: last 28 October 2004, I enrolled at the Ateneo De Manila University for my Masteral degree. I will be taking 6 units this semester and hopefully both of the subjects will be on a Saturday (yep, still negotiating for a schedule. However, I won’t mind if it will be after office hours, thanks to the Purple Line). In fairness, the registration process went smoothly and I finished everything around 9:30 am. After that, my parents and I had lunch at Max’s Restaurant in Katipunan. I definitely would not pass up a free, scrumptious meal.

I really don’t want to dwell on how I came up with the decision, since I don’t want to compare school (or maybe, I didn’t pass UP? Heheh, I forgot to call them up last 29 October, so I would not know). However, let me just say that I'm confident I made the right choice, even though it is a thesis program (for those who really know me: a repeat perhaps?). Honestly, I am excited with this new endeavor and looking forward to the knowledge and opportunities that comes with the program. However, I am also worried about the possibility of time management difficulties, so I would have to organize my work and my studies.

DRAGON in the JUNGLE

Over the weekend (during the UNDAS celebration), I was able to spend some quality time with the television. I was able to watch this movie that I would consider a favorite of mine: Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story (1993). Judging from the title, it’s a movie about the life of 1960’s-70’s Hong Kong martial arts superstar Bruce Lee. Eh-hum, though amazing as he is, I am not here to talk about the legendary Bruce but another Lee who played him in the mentioned movie: Jason Scott Lee (nope, no relation). I thought Jason made a stellar performance in this movie, and looked pretty hot while doing it (yep, sporting the “ripped but not too bulky” look). Like Zang Ziyi and “Come Drink With Me” star (for those who watches Discovery Channel), Pei-pei Cheng, Jason Scott Lee is also a dancer and has no kung fu training when he took this role. I bet the flexibility helped him execute those mind-blowing martial arts moves. Though critics say he has leading man potential, I read that he’d rather take supporting roles and pursue a career on the stage (he plays the Thai King in "The King and I").

If you get to see this movie and enjoyed Jason Scott Lee’s acting (or his physique), you should also check out 1994’s The Jungle Book, where Jason plays the (adult) Mowgli, the Indian youth raised by wolves. He’s cute here.